So I'm at this diner today, hoping to enjoy some yummy food. 

The main guy from Twilight was eating in the booth in front of me, so I thought "Ooh!  This place is going to not suck balls!"

I was wrong.  Balls wrong.  

Alarm bells should've gone off when I saw that the only sandwich that didn't come with fries was the "Hamburger," but I ordered anyway.  

My ladyfriend got a salad instead of fries, but it was drenched in tons of the wrong type of dressing - so we left it on the side of the table.  

By the time the waiter came back into view, we were done with our food (except for the salad that had become more of a soup), so we asked if we could just exchange it with some onion rings because it had the wrong dressing, and I would totally dig some onion rings to go.

He smiled, then returned with some onion rings, then didn't come back for 30 minutes or so.  Eventually, I sought him out to get the check... and it had a $5 charge for onion rings.  Though it was supposed to be subbed out instead of the salad.

He wouldn't remove the charge, because he said his manager gets really violent and he would get in serious trouble.  I still tipped him, even though I told him I wouldn't if he didn't take the charge off.  He just sighed and said "Alright..."  

Somebody needs to hit this cute little place in the face with a wrecking ball.