Last night, Tanya brought me to MORTIFIED, a show where people go up on a stage... to read their mortifying diaries from childhood. 

It's HUGE.  Tons of well-dressed industry folk pay the $15 cover to hear first-person tales from the miserable childhoods that are common among people that tend to move to LA to act and write.

Unedited. 

Unfiltered.

Unbarrassing.  

Sorry... I had  this 'un' theme going.  Had to go with it.  You understand.

There it is again, 'un'derstand.  I'm on fire.

Focus. 

One girl read from her 6th grade diary, "Dear Diary.  I finally understand what love is.  I love Jonathan Taylor Thomas."

Another, a former singer in a defunct 80s Girl-Band 'Pretty in Pink' showed their first big-budget music video in which Fergie was an extra!:

Fergie at 2:02. 

Extralicious.

HAHAHA... get it?

It's the only show where you can laugh with (their current self) AND at (their sad, sad former self) the performer at the same time.  At last. 

I know.  Too many ()'s.  That's it.  No more.

Throughout the show, my view was blocked by one of the stars from Dollhouse, Enver Gjokaj's, head.  Then I saw he was with Dichen Lachman, which is funny if you watch the show... because she plays Victor's love interest.  Watch it!: 

After the show, I walked past Enver, then acted like I'd just recognized him, so I could go, "Oh!  Dollhouse!  Hey I'm Toby."  I congratulated him for being a successful actor during actor-drought.  Then he asked where we were going to eat, we said "Some awesome Cuban place down the street."  Then I told him to subscribe to my YouTube.

Then as I started to leave, I walked past Dichen, who is freakin' Australian!  So... I did my Australian voice, and she said "Hey, that's pretty good!"  Then I told her that I once dated a girl whilst pretending to have that accent.  "Wow.  That's dedication," she said.  Or not.  I forget.  Something in Australian.  Then I told her to subscribe to my YouTube. 

Apparently Enver wasn't actually with Dichen, she was with this guy Paul who looked like the bad guy from Die Hard 1 (maybe that was just his bleached-blonde spike-hair). 

Ok, one more ().  Had to do it.

Paul had a very firm handshake, totally bad-guy-from-Die-Hard-1-esque.

Anyway, subscribe to my YouTube.

Bless your face.

Toby